Happy Birthday Grant!

First Birthday

First day of school 2011

10 years ago today I went in for my weekly check up still almost two weeks from my due date.  I knew I had been having contractions, but they had stopped, and I was so uncomfortable.  At 6 months in this pregnancy people started thinking it was time for me to have the baby.  I was huge!  I only had one dress I could wear the last month or so.  I lived in a pair of stretched out sandals.  It was the hottest September ever I am sure.  So I was ready to have the baby, but expecting no news when I went in for the check up.  As the doctor was checking me he was very surprised to find out that I was dilated to a four already.  Then as he was checking the baby's position, he got a very concerned looked on his face, and told me he was sideways.  I thought it felt like he was swimming in there.  I am sure there was plenty of room, and much more movement than I had experienced with any of my other pregnancies.  Anyway, he didn't want me to go home, he told me to go straight to the hospital.  Labor was imminent and life threatening complications possible.  As I am there with my my two toddlers, I asked him if I could at least take them somewhere before I went to the hospital.  He finally gave me permission, but told me to call 911 if I had even one contraction.  So I quickly took my kids to my sisters, called Tony and went to the hospital.  At that point the choice was to have a C-section or have the doctor try to change the baby's position by pushing on my stomach.  I didn't want the C-section, so we went for the other option.  Not fun!  Zero fun!  However it worked, baby turned, water broke, and pitocin worked almost immediately, and only a couple hours later I had a healthy 9 pound baby boy in my arms.  Piece of cake.  Good thing he didn't go the extra two weeks he would have been 10 pounds! 

After four kids, I felt really tired, overwhelmed and exhausted most of the time.  My youngest was a handful-cute as can be, but so feisty and always into something.  I thought I couldn't even consider having more children until Breanna was older.  I just kept feeling like someone was missing from our family though.  I knew we were supposed to have another baby, but I couldn't put my mind around it.  It was just too much I thought.  So I ignored the promptings.  So, then Heavenly Father started working on Tony.  When Tony said he felt like someone was missing from our family, I knew I just needed to have faith, but my faith was seriously lacking.  Tony gave me a blessing that said that this new baby would not bring me any physical or emotional stress...so we both tried to have the faith necessary.  When we brought Grant home I just assumed he would be an angel, and during the day he was.  Night time was a different story.  He would not sleep.  Not uncommon for a newborn, so I tried to just deal with it and assume it was just a short phase that he would quickly outgrow.  The weeks went on, and night after night I was up many hours with him crying.  I was mad!  I felt betrayed, tricked and mostly exhausted.  I prayed and told Heavenly Father that Grant was causing me stress, and that I couldn't do this.  Not to mention that Breanna was extraordinarily jealous of her baby brother.  If I was holding Grant I had to hold her too.  If I was feeding Grant she would do things that would demand my attention.  I was at a low point to be sure.  The next day or so as I was reading the Book of Mormon, I was reading in 1st Nephi 17.  As I read about Nephi building the ship and his amazing faith, I had the distinct impression that if Heavenly Father could help Nephi build a ship, then surely he could help me raise 5 children, even one that stayed up all night.  I was still confused, but decided to go forward with faith.  Grant did not start sleeping.  He was so good during the day, but every night he would cry.  If I would hold him and rock him though he would just whimper and hold still.  So every night after everyone else was in bed Grant and I would watch movies and rock.  I was averaging about 3 hours of sleep a night, but funny thing was I realized I really wasn't that tired.  I was able to do all that I needed to do.  The kids didn't seem to upset me and I just felt an inexplicable peace.  Soon I started to enjoy the time I had with Grant with no interruptions.  I almost started to look forward to those quiet hours when the house was quiet and Grant and I were bonding.  He was such a sweetheart with such a calm disposition. Even with what was obviously colic, he didn't scream and wail like my oldest did.  He just needed to be held.  After a few months, he started sleeping and reality set back in.  I started to feel tired if I didn't get enough sleep, and the kids antics started trying my patience again.  I wasn't blessed in the way I thought I would be blessed, but truly I was blessed in a way that I now treasure.

I can't imagine what life would be like without Grant now.  His toddler years were relatively uneventful (except the time he put toliet paper in the washer, and then the time he cut several of Tony's shirts), mostly he just followed me around and played with his toys.  He didn't have to be entertained, he just wanted to be in the same room as me.  I am sure I spoil him, but when a kid comes up to you multiple times a day and gives you hugs and tells you he loves you, what are you supposed to do?  He is so loving, naturally grateful, gentle and only occasionally obnoxious.  He has a bond with his older brother that I love to watch.  He idealizes Jared, and Jared is very patient with him. All of his siblings love him, even Breanna most of the time.  He loves sports, especially basketball.  He collects cars and still plays with them for hours.  I am so grateful that Heavenly Father sent him to our home!